he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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