I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
