Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
