So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
