It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
