She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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