oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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