Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
