oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
