and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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