this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize