so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
