I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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