i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
