dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
