My room smells like vodka and shame
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
