I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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