tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
