I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
