To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
