we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
