from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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