lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
