was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
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