Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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