You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
