i don't like sucking hair
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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