She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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