omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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