Fuck appropriateness.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize