some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
