i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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