he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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