I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
