I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Houston, we have a blender
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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