how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You are the jesus of drinking
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
