do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
