i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
