its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
