im six kinds of drunk right now
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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