So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize