I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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