Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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