did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
It's Friday. Sex?
She said her name was "party"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
