I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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