how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
this hospital has no fireball
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
