I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just want to make out with him forever
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
