Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
