I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
