he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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