I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Acid is not a monday night drug
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize