it was like eating out sand paper
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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