Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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