UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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