real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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