I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
high people should be assigned attendants
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
