And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
