I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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