Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
