She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
