Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize