She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
it's great music for shaving your balls
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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