Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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