I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
