you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
