you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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