We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Sorry about my life...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
