I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
