Say something about gay babies.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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